Road to Chelsea

"It's 10:45am in New York City, I'm sitting in the lobby of the (in)famous Hotel Chelsea giving my bones a rest from a long and tiresome twenty-something hours. I haven't slept since yesterday, 8:30am LA time & I think I am responsible for destroying some poor girl's nostrils, as she was held captive by a series of circumstances that led to me having to fly with a less than desirable level of good hygiene."

Let's start with yesterday, 8:30am in LA. Morty and I woke up early to catch the Metro to Hollywood. To do this, we can get a ride from the hostel to the train line and back for free; very helpful as it's in a sketchy neighborhood. To get to Hollywood we had to catch three different train lines. The first, closest to our hostel, we are the two odd whites boys, getting stared at. The second line gets a lot more multicultural with the third being very clean and respectable, giving us hope that there is more to LA than gangsta hoods and strip malls freckled with windows covered in steel bars.

Hollywood, for the record, is awesome. We got comfy pretty quick. Strolling down the street, looking at the stars on the walk of fame and soaking up the atmosphere.

I got a little too excited by happening across Zoltar!

I went giddy and had to get a tourist shot... then again with The Doors
... and the Hollywood sign.
We found a bar (Maui and Sons) with free WiFi and stopped for some beers and shit, while we figured out what to do.
We decided to get real touristy and go on a Hollywood tour in and open roof minivan.
The dude hocking this shit on the street called out to us we walked down the street "hey, you guys want to go on a Hollywood tour? I'll do it for you cheaper cause you're Jewish!". We were laughing our asses off cause we had just passed a cheap suit store where you could buy a suit for $66 and we were considering getting them so we could reenact that photo Jeremy found of those two Jewish guys who look just like us.

Anyway he gave us the tour for only $20 (instead of $35). This proved to be a good idea, cause we got to go up Mulholland drive for the best view of Hollywood.

But not before having some lunch at an awesome hotdog joint for my first authentic chilli dog and fries.

After the tour we went to Hooters for dinner. Our hostess certainly "filled" the job description and the food was pretty good (sliders and buffalo shrimp).

Then it was time to go back to our hostel to await my departure for NY. This meant an hour and a half train travel back towards the lower socioeconomic cesspool at night, playing the role of the jumpy, nervous and prejudice, glow in the dark target. It was all cool and we decided it would be a good idea to ring the hostel and arrange a pickup a few stations out. The idea being that the van would be there when we got in, so we didn't have to hang around for too long and get shivved. This didn't work out too well, as the shuttle was out dropping people off here and there and we would have to wait. The funniest part about this time, waiting in the dark, was when a scary ass black dude that had been hovering around, walked right up to us and slipped his hand toward his breast pocket under his jacket, with eyes penetrating our pretty white skulls... we froze in anticipation... what's he doing? Will we get warning? Will he just shoot and take our wallets? Am I going to be able to just give him the planted $2-$3 from my pocket, whilst keeping my wallet and cash safe from his mugging ass? Should I just push Morty into him and run in the opposite direction? Was that what Morty was thinking? No... he was just getting his wallet out to pay for the bus that was driving up behind us, as we were frozen in petrification and unable to hear. LA Noobs.

Anyways, back at the hostel, we had some beers with some other peeps, one Aussie chick and a couple from Finland. All cool cats and nice to chat to, but it was now time for me to grab the shuttle to LAX for my 11:30pm (LA) to 7:45am (NY) JFK flight. My thoughts when booking this was "no problem, I'll just sleep on the flight. As it turns out, not so. The Plane was so damn hot, I couldn't Breathe and I had foolishly forgotten to shower before the flight (as I was preoccupied by beers and foreign company) and I was crammed into a window seat next to a couple of girls. They were sleeping and I couldn't get to the bathroom to freshen up. By the time the flight got in, I had not slept a wink, I had listened to every Tool album and sweated my ass off in clothes I had been wearing all day in Hollywood and I fucking stunk! I hate bad hygiene and here I was, being "that guy!". That poor girl next to me, she must have gone home telling of being stuck on a flight, for 5hrs next to a stinker. I feel for her. As for me, well I used a wet wipe in the JFK bathrooms to clean up and changed my shirt before battling with the NYC subway system to try and find my way to Chelsea.

I got an airtrain link to a place called Howard Beach and then caught the A line to 14th street. I could have caught a local to 23rd (where the Hotel Chelsea resides) but I decided to hoof it, 18kg pack on back! I got to the Chelsea to find out that they had screwed up our reservation and put us in a one bed room. Being the weekend of their "President's day" public holiday, bookings were full up. So I negotiated a better placement (street side, by the Hotel Chelsea sign) and had a fold out cot brought up. I also scored cheaper rates, so we're cool with it. Morty wasn't set to fly in until 4:00pm so I had the day in NYC to myself but the check in time wasn't until 3:00pm, so I couldn't catch a nap or shower or anything. I was able to chill in the lobby and use the WiFi and I started this entry but I got bored and went wandering after checking in my bags with reception.

Just strolling around I bought a $2.50 chilli dog and made my way down 23rd until I found a cool park. I watched squirrels darting around gathering nuts, burying them and playing with each other. They're freaking cool! I chilled on a park bench for a while people watching, only to look across the street and see the Flatiron building... "holy shit!". How's my luck? I wanted to see this building and I just happened to stumble across it. Awesome!

TBC...

Location:W23rd & 8th, New York City.